Destruction. Tearing down all of my walls. Inside and out only to leave me crumbled. The shattered remains of me left on this bed unable to regain myself. I cant seem to pull myself together. Because see my arms are over by the kitchen and my legs are by the door. My head is under the couch and my heart is somewhere on the floor. Not beating. How do I collect myself after you've torn me down once again? I don't. Once I get myself back together I'm chasing right after you. Doing everything that didn't work before all over again expecting a different result. Results of you staying with me. Results of me not tearing apart. That's how things go with us. You break me down and I chase you down. As I lay here trying to collect myself I realize this revolving door of confusion has to end. Why are my arms by the kitchen you ask? Well after we woke I decided to make us breakfast but then you just wanted to sit on the couch and talk about how this wasn't a relationship and should be kept as causal as possible. My head is still rolling from that conversation. My legs, well they are by the door because I tried to walk out, I didn't get too far. And my heart dead on the floor, its been there for some weeks now. I forgot to pick it up the last time it fell from my chest. I guess I hoped you'd see and return it to me. I'm all torn apart and can't even pull myself together.How pitiful I must seem to be all strung out over a lover that wasn't even mine to begin with. Oh how crazy I must look to chase after you knowing some other women might get you to look her way, tonight. Your destruction is intensely desirable. What you show aren't your fangs but your soft lips in need of caress. A gentle touch to my frame and BAM its over. I have fallen once again to your hands of submission. Doing exactly what you want just to get the pleasure I need. A type of sinful pleasure that will only last until you leave. Once you're gone oh girl its so, so hard to get you back. That is why I'm broken. Ran after you again, and again. Yet, I have learned nothing because as I lay here trying to collect myself I am dialing your number. Seeing if you'll stay the night. I'll tell you I know its nothing more than a causal thing and that in the morning you must go. While you lay with me for that night in your arms, I will be whole again only to be torn when you leave.
PAT.
i appreciate this style of writing. not afraid to show the vulnerable side, which is much different than the bravado that many writers & artists feel the need to showcase.
ReplyDeleteThis is the soul of love. It will help many to understand what they are going through and know they're not alone. It will hopefully give them the courage and strength to know, it's a one-sided, unhealthy love. Please keep writing!!!
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