The deepest hole

A million knives stab my back as I realize she could leave me. Like so many before her she could walk away and never look back. I swallow broken glass as I utter the words "Don't go". I cant speak. my lips are sown shut as I try to scream I love you. That's not enough. It never is. My hands shake as I try to grab her. I grab her hand but she jerks it away from me. My heart falls out of my chest and she walks right on top of it.   The blood spills. I was dead long before it even fell. I died the day she said my love didn't matter anymore. My love wouldn't fix it this time. My love wasn't enough. The knives are pushed deeper into my back you can see them coming out of my chest. She promised to never hurt me. She said she would never leave. Oh please don't let me die. I thought I found love the day I looked into her eyes but I see now I was looking into a black hole of despair. A rush of wants and needs that was only met for the shortest period of time. She only needed me to fill a void another girl left. I guess she came back. Please don't let me die. I was only alive for her. My heart was beating at the same speed as hers since the first day we kissed. The beating stopped the very day she left. I called. She ignored. I came by. She never came to the door but out of the window I saw them. The very girl she said would never tear us apart. I loved her even when I knew she would kill me. I loved her even when I knew it would hurt. I'm so distraught. I can't walk or run away from her but towards her I sprint. I sprint so fast that I didn't even see the hole she dug for me to fall in. The hole is so deep, so dark. I can't see my way out. She said she loved me. Said she would never let me go because I was her soul mate. The woman she had been looking. As I sit in this hole trying to figure out an escape route I begin to dig myself in deeper not knowing I will die here. Alone without her. I pray to the moon in my last breath and my eyes close in my last dream of her.


PAT.