Enraged. To the point i want to kill. Let off this anger I have inside. Built up frustration and regret. What the fuck am I even doing? I have asked myself this question over a million times. A trillion. Why am I here? What lessons am I to learn? I seem to keep fucking up over and over. I'm not making any type of progress. Yet again I fall into traps. Head first into quick sand. Mouth is so dry I can't scream for help. Not that anyone would hear me. Not that I even want the response of another person claiming to be of assistance. Claiming to care for me just to leave. What's my number one fear? Abandonment. Rejection unfortunately is a factor of that. I look in the mirror everyday and I try to figure out why I woke up. Why I am still breathing. I never have an answer. Am I going through life just for the feeling of depression? Just for the feeling of sadness. I'm too weak. This I know. I've admitted my flaws. I tell others my flaws yet and still they seem to be the reason I am alone. To live with the fear of never being wanting. The fear of never finding something great to hold on to. Nothing in life is easy right? Right. The only thing that has been consistent in my 24 years of living is pain. Like a fucking idiot I thought I found happiness. Like a fucking dumb ass I thought I had peace of mind. Well she stole my peace and I cant seem to find my mind. No. I can't seem to find my mind. 

P.A.T.