Am I the only one who sits and thinks about what my purpose is? What am I really doing here? I sometimes think how different the world would be if I wasn't around. Would anyone honestly notice? I really don't think so. I really doubt it. Thinking about suicide or running far away seems like a good idea when I lay in bed at night not wanting to get up in the next morning. The sun rises and I hate it. I hate when the warm light touches my skin. The bright sun reminds me I am alive and that drives me crazy. Hearing the rain makes me think of death and lets me know its not too far away. Soon I will sleep for eternity. Never to be disturbed. Never to hear the shame or anger in another persons voice because of my actions. The actions I believed to be right. Believed to be, in my heart, the truth of me. Again it is night and I am alive. My soul is dead but my mind is forever racing to find understanding and truth. Forever searching for the touch of a worthy human. A human who may be flawed but can still love honestly. Can still speak the truth without the tongue screaming lies to hide the deep feelings of the heart. What is the purpose of the human? What is the purpose of man? We live. We die. At some point we love. We do things beyond our own point of understanding to please the human we so blindly love. Why? Do we honestly know why? My own opinion, no we don't. We say we do things for others because we love them but if you ask 10 people what love means you will get 10 different answers. Why can't love be defined the same among all humans? The moon shines for me. The moon wants me to follow the light it brings. Moon sing to me. Tell me where to go. Tell me what to do. Soon the sun will shine and my soul will die again. Maybe today will be the day the heat melts what is left of my heart and I will sleep for eternity.
P.A.T.
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