Formidable

I barely trust myself and you want me to give you my last? What will I do if you run away with it? I will be standing in the street waiting for you to return my belongings. What all have you stolen from me? Two months ago I lost my breath. I thought I had just held my breath for too long then realized it was my voice that had been stolen. Before that my finger tips were so bruised from the over excessive typing of words to a message to send you my most endearing love story. Blood ran from the tips of my fingers to the palm of my hand dripping on to the floor in a puddle of dark red shame. I am shameful to always explain my feelings. These feelings of loneliness are not wonderful. I feel empty and tell you of my struggling heart only to hear you don't give a damn. Well my dear I was fooled. Fooled into thinking that if I shared my deepest wound that you would heal me and be forever in my good graces. Forever appreciating me for allowing you to see my scars so raw and visible only to you. Only for you to fix. I thought if I made myself available to you and only you, maybe then your light brown eyes would stare right into my soul and see there is a seat for you there. A seat that is covered in cobwebs and dust. No one ever sits there. As you may realize a seat covered in filth may not be attractive. I was hoping whoever would take that chair would clean it. Keep it shining as if it were a brand new seat costing millions of dollars. What else have you taken from me? It is so dark that I can not see what is missing. I stared so long and deep into your eyes that I'm now blind to how gorgeous the sunlight is. You stole my joy. It's okay though. Once I get it back I swear you will never steal it again. 

P.A.T.