Confidence.

Feeling strong and certain about a particular subject. Knowing that what you feel and what you believe is exactly what is happening. Confidence is crazy. On top of the world in a second and the next on the ground gathering your lost words of comfort. I'm not gathering shit. See I'm on the mountain top. Everything is clear and the sky is so gorgeous. The sun isn't too bright so when I stare into it my eyes just shimmer with joy and and peace. Fuck, confidence is crazy. One second you are the only one, the next you're in a sea of other yearning hopeless lovers. But see I'm on my own ship. I have control of which way this ocean carries me. I will not drown in this deep sea of despair. I will float on and on to paradise because I have this crazy thing called confidence. I know. I finally know that I am perfect. In my own right I am perfect. Just the way I am suppose to be. Just the way I am suppose to act and talk and dress. Perfectly imperfect for the right person to adore every single flaw. To kiss every single bruise and blemish. Do you understand how confidence can either make or break a person's spirit? How confidence can tear a person to bits and pieces. Before I understood my own confidence. Before I understood what confidence meant to me. I was gathering my lost words. I was drowning in a sea of despair and loneliness because I thought confidence meant I had to think I was something I am not. Thinking I needed to be better than I already am. Being better than I already am is damn near impossible. Like I said I am perfectly imperfect. Just as I am. I am exactly, exactly who I need to be. See confidence is crazy. It'll have you looking at other people trying to gain their confidence not even realizing they are trying to gain yours. Fuck what society tells you. Being flawed and a perfectionist. Being overly loving and a tad distant is my perfectly imperfect way of being me. Being me is all I ever needed to be. I want to teach a young girl that her imperfections are the most beautiful thing about her. Tell her that one day someone will love you for being exactly who you are. All of your corky ways and misguided attempts at being "cool" is the best characteristic you have. Your confidence shines brighter than the sun. You are the sun. 

P.A.T.