Petals.

What happens when you allow the need for love change how you view yourself? What happens when you allow someone to hurt you continuously because you think they love you and in the end it will get better? How is it that in the beginning it's horrible. I know that storm comes before the rainbow but I feel like this is a month long hurricane and in the end there will be nothing but reckage to clean. Reckage that you will be cleaning on your own. How is it that your vision of how your life should be is over shadowed by the vision of how your life is forced to be? Forced by a person who in the beginning wasn't suppose to be there. A person who for this whole time hasn't shown you one reason as to why your life should change and alter to fit them. My life is mine. Shouldn't it fit me? Shouldn't it make me feel good to wake up? I never want to wake because I will be alarmed with not a clock but continuous words of fuck ups. Words telling me that I am not doing anything right. I shouldn't put my personal dreams, wants and wishes ahead of this person. I should stop everything I am doing to make sure this person can fullfill their obligations. Only to leave mine to dust.  Never growing within myself. I am under the ground only brought to the surface to make you look good. I am the flower that only gets watered when it's raining. Too bad I'm a house plant. I never feel the sun touch my petals because you want me closed in. What happens when I lose all my bright petals? Will you still want me or will the thought of me only being a green stem not as pleasing? I am in a corner only to bloom when you say it's okay. Only to be watered by you but you seem to be missing a few days. I wasn't as bright the day before last and well you plucked a petal off to show who was still in charge. I guess you showed this little small house plant. But what happens when I allow my weeds to grow? What happens when my weeds become thick and thorns are all around, how will you pluck my petals then?  When my thorns pierce your finger tips and blood begins to drip, you will then feel the sting of resentment . The very thing you are trying to keep hidden for yourself, is fighting for it's soul. Those gorgeous orange petals.